My mental health struggle

I’ve honestly struggled with mental health my whole life. When I was five years old I was diagnosed with PTSD.  Keep in mind I’m adopted I’ve been in lots of dangerous situations of shooting rape and other things I can’t remember. But I moved to a different home I was still in therapy which I hated. don’t get me wrong, I love my family. But our family became a broken family. I love my mom and siblings but my so-called dad I can’t say the same.  I don’t honestly want to call it mental abuse but it kind feels like it was. Telling me because I lie that I was going to hell.  One time I threw a snowball in my sister’s face when he told me not to before I actually didn’t mean too and then he MADE HERE THROW ONE IN MINE

yes, I said made her she didn’t want to but he made her. I walked back around inside crying. Running to my mother I don’t hate him honestly I really just dislike him. He tries to manipulate everyone around him and honestly did work for a while. He and his family on his side a like a [Insert curse word here] pest I dislike them all. Anyways he increased my mental health problems. Who treated me very badly I knew he hated me I just didn’t know why. My mom and him got a divorce and honestly, that was the happiest day of my life. Year’s have gone past now and I now have suicidal thoughts.